Pushing Rose Too Far
by Dont-stop-believing
Summary: Edward takes a joke on Emmett too far, and when he loses something of Emmett's. Emmett ends up paying the price and Rosalie isn't too thrilled about it either.
1. Emmett's pens

Pushing Rose too far

Please Note: This idea only came because my friends and I were fooling around at lunch one day and thinking of possible bloopers for Twilight…I love Twilight and am in no way trying to make people think I'm bashing it…I'm just poking some fun at it…

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all of Emmett/ Jasper/ Edward's sexiness….and Carlisle too…but for those who know me…saying he's hot is….weird

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Edward's POV

There was Emmett, standing like a retard counting up all his pens making sure he had exactly 20. I mean, who counts their pens??? Oh, and that's not even the half of it. He names his pens too. No, seriously…I'm standing behind him reading the names of these things….Rosalie 1…My love Rose 2…..then ranging from things such as Coconut 5 to Rhubarb 8…I mean…what the freak is a Rhubarb anyways!!!!

On and on his pens say these random names where he had obviously just taken a sharpie to write them on these things…What do his classmates say??? I bet everyone just pays attention to him to see what pen he'll pull out for class that day…Man! Where does he come up with these names?! Not to mention some are pretty random.

Emmett POV

Ok, 20 pens. Man! I don't see why Rosalie pesters me as to why I name my pens. I have VERY good reasons okay! I mean, for the most part, it's so sticky fingers, Edward, doesn't go nabbing them. And I mean some are pretty creative except for pens 13-20 where I simply ran out of creativity and just named them pen with a number after them. But hey, at least I can keep track.

Rosalie 1, My Love Rose 2, Rose 3, Beautiful Rose 4, Coconut 5, Kleenex 6, Milk 7, Rhubarb 8, Pocky 9, Fish 10, Fruit 11, Love my car 12, and then pens 13-20… The hardest part was having to name most of them after food. Because seriously, someone in my shape has to eat and I don't want anyone even having to slightest idea that I'm a vampire and that I don't eat because, well, I don't.

Edward's POV

I couldn't help it. I just had to have Emmett give me a good reason…not to mention, I don't think he's noticed the fact I'm behind him.

"You name your pens?" I asked

Well, as sweetly as I thought I said it, I was apparently wrong and Emmett certainly didn't have the slightest idea I was behind him because that scream was full out.

Emmett's POV

My gosh! Could Edward have possibly let me know he was behind me?!?!!! Man, that scream was possibly the most unmanly thing I've ever done. Oh man and cowering here on the floor is not really helping. I stand up slowly making sure Edward isn't going to jump at me again. I know I should probably say something, but it's not like as if Edward can't read my mind. And knowing him, he probably is.

I stand up and pick up my pencil case which was thrown on the ground when Edward scared the daylights out of me.

"Sooooo..." he continued, "You gonna tell about those pens?? Seriously, of all things Emmett, this has definitely got to be the stupidest."

"Oh I'll tell you," I fought back, "it's so when _**you **_steal my stuff, I'll be able to tell." I made sure to emphasize the 'you' so he would hopefully get the point.

"What's with the names though??" he asked obviously perplexed.

"It gave me something to do." I replied. Hey, it was the truth. Did he want me to make up some obscure lie? Because if he did, he certainly wasn't getting one.

"Nope, I don't want you making something up. But I still think your reasons for the names are weird." He said obviously he was tapping into my thoughts…again. Man! I hate it when Edward does that.

It wasn't until then that I realized that I must have been pondering pretty intensely because then Edward comes to me saying:

"Hey, you dropped your pen." He said in all sweetness.

Okay THAT was pushing it, "You have to treat them as if they're living breathing people!!!" Geeze! What was Edward's problem?! They have names for a reason! Or does he think I'm really that retarded!?!

"Sorry. Uhhh…Rhubarb fell when you moved." He said rather hesitantly and with a confused face.

Wow…Edward played this better than most people in my class. Maybe my manliness scared him. Well, at least now I won't look like the only foolishly foolish fool. (Sorry had to add that for those Phoenix Wright fans)

Edward's POV

Emmett finally finished packing up his people pens and just left his pencil case as he finished getting ready for school. Just to poke some fun I decided to take one of his pens. I mean, if his sole reason for naming them is so that I won't take them is pretty intense. I mean, let's see how long it takes before he notices one of them is gone.

I heard Emmett coming back so I just grabbed the first one of Emmett's 'babies' that I could get my fingers on and stashed it in my pocket. I left the room and read the pen's name. It wasn't until then that I noticed how corrupt Emmett's brain really was.

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Hope that wasn't too horrible. This was originally intended to be a oneshot but I like this cliffhanger so it shant. Constructive critisizm is greatly appreciated and so are reviews.


	2. pen 15

**Loudie**: Thanks! You're amazing! and so are your stories.

**Charlie the Unicorn**: NOOO!...jajaja...see, you know the joke already.

Thanks to Loudie and Charlie the Unicorn for reviwing, and for those who favorited and put my story on story alerts...i thank you

Disclaimer: Okay…If I Owned Twilight…I would have made Jacob and Billy do a jig.

WARNING: if you have a sane mind, let me remind you that the back button was created for a reason, please turn back if you are completely opposed to hearing the name of a certain male body part.

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Edward's POV

Okay…_**What**_ does Emmett read these days…or maybe watch…Is he gay or something?? My God! And I thought Emmett was weird before but of all the different words there are in the English language did he have to name it penis?!?!!! I totally would go back and take 'someone', as he refers to them, such as my love Rose or Rosalie…something to **really** piss him off. But no, I had the rotten luck of getting the one named penis!

( Forks High School)

I finally get to school and decided to go straight to class. If Emmett was a sharp as he insisted he was, he's be chasing after me for the return a body part I had obviously taken, no matter how much I didn't want it, I wasn't gonna let a prank such as this go to waste. Going up to him to put the pen back would ruin the entire thing.

I safely entered the premises of my first block without Emmett chasing me down. I did leave the house before he did, it was just a matter of time before his truck came rolling into school grounds, and he had the time to pulverize me. Besides, how would he know EXACTLY where I was?

Alice's POV

Wow. Edward left the house pretty quickly. I wonder if everything's okay. Maybe he got into a fight with Bella, and he has to sort it out. I hope everything's okay. Edward doesn't usually leave for school this early. I guess I'll have to ask Bella later.

I finished grabbing my things. Maybe I should follow him, or at least go to Bella's house.

Edward's POV

Now that I'm thinking about it; I'm over reacting over a PEN!!! Wow, I must be turning into Emmett. His stupidity over these things must be rubbing off on me. Note to self: Stay away from Emmett while he's pulling an Amy₁.

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₁ Pulling an Amy – Doing something stupid (not meant to insult anyone named Amy)

Sorry its short…but please review...Did you like it hate it? Thoughts on future chapters...anything. THIS author wants to hear it all...except those annoying chain letters...I can live without those.

Peace love and Vampires! dont-stop-believing signing out!


	3. Edward's Grand Idea

**Georgiaaaaa:): That's awesome! I'm glad it made you laugh. That really makes me very happy.**

**Edward4eva411: Well here's the update...even if it was a little late which I sincerely appologize for. Thank you!**

**lozzxxlovesssxxedwardxx: Well, as long as you don't start seizing and end up in the hospital because of it, I guess it's all good. jajajaja, well, here's part of the rest, hopefully everything else will come in the near future.**

EmPOV

Oh 'hahaha' Edward thinks he's so funny going and stealing my pens. I mean seriously. You can read it on his face! Well, as long as Rosalie, My love Rose etc. etc. weren't taken, I guess it's all good. Now that I think about. I think Edward has pen 15. Like THAT'S pulling a prank on me. He can keep it for all I care. I have enough pens to last me the rest of the semester, so like I care if I was robbed of a pen. It's just a pen after all.

Maybe I won't tell Edward anything. I mean he's IS my brother…kinda. It's not a big deal. It's not my favorite pen after all I mean, whenever I pull it out in class everyone just gives me this stare. It's pretty creepy if you ask me. It's almost as if there's a hidden message that I'm too oblivious to notice. I mean, I've stared at pen 15 for AGES and no secrets of the underworld have been revealed and whatnot. Maybe it's a human thing. I'll ask Bella someday.

EPOV

Alright, just a couple more minutes before I'm fried. Yeah, I'm dead. NO, it isn't because I stole Emmett's pen, well…Maybe it is…in a way. So I kind of 'borrowed' Emmett's pen without permission as a little joke. But now I've noticed that…I can't find it. It's on school campus probably rolling around somewhere, someone's gonna pick it up, keep it, while Emmett is stuck penis-less. MAN! Maybe I'll just poke around the minds of people at break to see if anyone's found it. Seriously, who ISN'T going to think something of a pen named penis! I definitely would! I'm thinking about it right now! And only part of it is because I lost it!

I've figured out the following. Since I am already screwed, I've figured that if I stick to Emmett's rules about his pens, then maybe, just MAYBE I won't be in as deep a shit as I could be. Yeah! That's exactly what I'll do!

APOV

I have to admit. Of all the things Edward has done. This one is going to be the stupidest! Oh yeah. I JUST had a vision. Although...Emmett might not be too happy with how this entire thing will turn out but, oh well. More for me to laugh at. Right?

Oh man!...Seriously Edward. If you can read my thoughts right now...I have three words for you. 'You're a retard!' that is all.

EPOV

'you're a retard' Wow...that definately came from the mind of Alice. I bet she had a vision that I lost Emmett's...you know...and that he's gonna beat me up or something...Something that makes me retard material. Well, it's only Emmett. FSSH! yeah only Emmett. The one who could probably beat any vampire to a pulp! okay now. I'm officially scared. Maybe I should start on my plan to save my ass as well as Emmett's...even if half of this school probably already knows the name he gave that ONE pen.

**Sorry it's short. I could have sworn I had more written and then...well, now that I uploaded it...it's gone! Anyways...Next chapter, Edward's smart plan in his mind and retarded plan in Alice's mind shall be revealed. I should hopefully have it up tommorow...If not, at the very least it should be up soon. Thanks for understanding.**


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